JOE McELDERRY told last night how gossip on the social networking website Twitter persuaded him to come out as gay.
The X Factor champ, who hit No1 with his single The Climb, was targeted by hackers who broke into his account and "outed" him for a joke.A post read: "It's been difficult living a lie for so many years."
But as the shock subsided, proud Joe admitted the message made him realise his true feelings.
Exclusive chat ... Joe McElderry with Gordon Smart |
"But after a while I looked at the message and thought, 'Well, they're not that far from the truth'.
"I think the Twitter thing was the point when I realised I was gay. I just looked at it and thought, 'Should I be more bothered about this'?
"Because I wasn't, that's when it clicked and I thought maybe I was. It was a turning point, definitely."
Geordie Joe, 19, added in the garden of his West London flat: "I was doing an interview recently and I was asked the same questions I always get asked, 'Are you single? Have you got a girlfriend'?
Thrilled
"Before I've always said no. I was not attracted to anyone at the time so thought it was a fair answer."Then I thought, 'Actually, my feelings have changed - this is how I feel now'. The penny has dropped."
'At least I know who, where and what I am' ... Joe McElderry |
He was returning from a break in his native North East. The singer said: "I told my mum first on the train. I'd been really quiet and she asked what was wrong.
"I just said to her, 'Listen, I've got something to tell you. You know the Twitter thing? I had nothing to do with it, Mum, but it was true'.
"She said, 'What, that you are gay'? And I said, 'Yeah.'
"It's a bit uncomfortable. Not because I am ashamed of it. I just find it weird discussing anything like that with family. She was reading The Sun when we pulled up to the station and I thought it was the time to tell her."
X Factor supremo SIMON COWELL, 50, was one of the first to ring and offer his full support after Joe broke the news to record bosses at SyCo earlier this week.
Joe said: "I spoke to Simon direct. He rang a couple of nights ago and I missed his call but I spoke to him about half an hour ago.
"He said, 'Hi, it's Simon. You know, I 100 per cent agree with what you are doing. It's fantastic. I am here at the end of the phone if you need any support and we are thrilled for what you're doing'.
"It's great. It would have been a bit of a nightmare had they said they didn't want this to happen, but they've been totally fine."
Joe insisted the issue of his sexuality only recently entered his thoughts.
Winner ... Joe McElderry is crowned X Factor king |
He said: "It's only been on my mind for the last couple of weeks. That's it - God's honest truth.
"I'm only 19 and I think the X Factor has played a big part in the timing. I was 18 when it started and, since it finished, I have had seven months growing up.
"I have really matured as a person. I've moved away from Newcastle and I think it's as simple as finally realising who I am as a person - in a matter of weeks.
"My feet have eventually touched the ground. I've grown up.
"I have just matured and thought at last, 'I know who, where and what I am'.
"I think even more so that I've had time to think recently.
"I've been so busy doing loads of different things since the show, and now I have had a bit of time to chill out and go through it all in my head. I just want to be happy. I think I can be happy now that I have realised who I am - and I am feeling good about it.
"I haven't changed. I never really thought about it before then - it never really played on my mind. I was asked about it at Christmas and I gave an honest answer. I wasn't attracted to boys or girls.
Pals ... Joe with X Factor beauty Cheryl Cole |
"It was always the case at school, really. I'd had girlfriends. I kissed loads of girls and I kissed one boy last year. I just thought, 'Is this just not what everybody does - experimenting, at this age'? I never thought anything of it.
"It's not fair on the boy I kissed last year if I talk about him. It was just before X Factor and it was nothing serious. It was a peck of a kiss while I was at college. I just thought, 'What happened there? That was pretty nice'.
"It didn't trigger anything in me at all. I didn't feel anything. I just thought, 'That was strange'.
"When I was doing X Factor I genuinely thought I wasn't gay, and then I kind of just got to the point where, actually, maybe I am.
"It is a liberating feeling. "Now I can get on with the rest of my life and move on and be comfortable.
"There's always been speculation about me so I'm kind of used to it.
"I thought I wasn't gay, so I thought it was just part of the job with all the speculation.
"So I just let it go over my head and got on with it.
"It eventually sunk into my mind. Genuinely, I just assumed I wasn't gay. I was so young I never thought any more about it."
Joe, who said he was seeing a girl for three years while at school, also broke the news to dad Jim, who is separated from Eileen.
He said: "I've got a feeling inside that has suddenly made sense, that has been the turning point.
"I told my dad after that. He was like, 'OK, fine. I kind of knew anyway'. He was fine.
"My nan was too. My mum told all our close friends and family. They were all fine with it.
"I haven't changed as a person. I am exactly the same person as I was yesterday, the day before that, last week. This is just how I am feeling at the minute and I have chosen to talk about it.
"This isn't me now out on the pull. You're not going to see me strolling out of clubs with different people or anything like that.
"I am a really private person and I want to continue like that. I won't be out there going mad.
"I am not bothered by not having a partner. I don't feel like I need to get into a relationship just for the sake of it."
Joe is making his debut album. He has recorded more than 20 tracks and is working with Cowell to choose the songs he hopes will establish him as a leading artist.
He also has a series of meetings lined up in Los Angeles with Disney, plus other offers on the table to record songs for movie soundtracks.
MyView
By DEIDRE SANDERS
Sun Agony Aunt
EVEN these days coming out takes a lot of courage.
In theory gay people aren't supposed to suffer from any prejudice in this country but, as I hear from readers every week, many do.
Most young people grow up hearing anti-gay jokes among the kids at school.
And telling mum and dad can be the toughest as, for even the most loving parents, it shatters their traditional dreams for you.
Of course, gay people can lead as fulfilling lives as straight brothers and sisters - but it can take everyone involved time to see how the new life is going to work out.
Most find coming out is an amazing relief because at last they can be themselves and be loved for their true selves.
There is plenty of help. Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays gives lots of support both to those wanting to come out and to the friends and relatives (0845 652 0311, www.fflag.org.uk).
You can download their leaflets How do I tell my parents? and A Guide for Families and Friends. And if you would like my leaflets on Gay Worries or Gay Resources write to me at problems@deardeidre.org.
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