Sean Maher on Life Since Coming Out
Jim Halterman on October 3, 2011
However, when news broke last week that Maher was publicly coming out of the closet, it all made sense. Entertainment Weekly may have been the first to report the story, but I finally was able to get on the phone with the handsome actor to talk about his life now that he’s fully on the other side of the closet door.
Here Sean talks about the unexpected person in his life who inspired him to live a life of truth. He also shares details on what’s ahead for his Playboy Club character: There will be more of exploration the early 1960s Mattachine Society, but his character (also named Sean) is going to become more immersed in the infamous Playboy Club… and hunky co-star Eddie Cibrian.
AfterElton.com: So, my first question was going to be ‘What’s new…’
Sean Maher: Not much! [laughs]
AE: Since coming out, how are you feeling about everything?
SM: I'm feeling fantastic! I'm still overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support. I expected a positive response, but I did not expect such a large scale of positive responses, especially from the media and within the business, too.
The story broke on Monday morning. I was in Chicago and had just stepped out of a yoga class and my Blackberry was literally having a seizure. Going, going, going and going. The story must’ve been out and I hadn’t read it.
I was terrified! I didn’t know what was going to be written. All I knew was that I had this amazing lunch with [Entertainment Weekly's Tanner Stransky] for two hours where I was as candid as I could be. I told him everything and just passed it along to him and had faith that he would write a good story.
I was scrolling through my Blackberry, and it was going crazy and I stopped at Craig Zadan’s. Craig Zadan had sent me an email that said 'Congratulations.' He said, ‘What a classy, beautiful article. I’ve never been prouder of you. I love you so much. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you felt that you wanted to talk about how I played a role. I couldn’t be more honored to be such a strong influence in that regard.’
So then I knew it was a great story. Ultimately, it really was about my daughter and obviously my son. But he’s too young and he doesn’t understand. For her, she’s starting to become a person, and she’s starting to process things, and we’re doing our best to instill these qualities and core values. I was like, ‘How in the world would I be able to explain to her that because of my line of work I have to hide something about our family? How could you send a child that message? There’s no way that I am not going to step forward at some point in my career and share this story. ' Then, when I read Playboy Club awhile back it was like a light bulb went off. I was so drawn to the role as an actor and obviously as a gay man. So we went from there.
SM: We talked about that a lot and we came to the conclusion that this was something that we both felt so strongly about. It might be hard at times, it might be scary at times, but ultimately we were hoping that putting my face out there and presenting my family in the light of just leading by example, if we could just change the way people viewed this idea of a marriage that is not normal and a family that is not normal. I think, yeah, you know, it was hard.
When we first met, I was not out and whether it was events or premieres or what have you he didn’t come with me. It was tough and it was tense and I think when Sophia was born I took two years off to be a stay at home Dad, and those were some of the most wonderful years of my life... I always say she was my greatest teacher. I think coming back to work when she was around 2 years old, I was suddenly looking for something more in the industry. I kept thinking there’s got to be something more for me. The roles I was looking at were really uninspiring. I had acted my way into this image of what I thought everybody wanted me to be and I wasn’t living my truth and I wasn’t taking risks and I wasn't tgoing out for things that I truly believed in. I was going at this pace that I thought I was supposed to do and so that was hard coming back suddenly not loving the scripts that I was reading and looking for something that more nursed my soul.
It just dawned on me that it was going to be …that if I could possibly step into the forefront and be a role model-- not just for the gay community but just for equality in general-- that I would be honored to do that, whereas five years ago I was too scared to do it.
AE: When you saw people like Neil Patrick Harris and others coming out, was that difficult for you to see?
SM: A little bit. I think when the T.R. Knight thing happened and when Neil Patrick Harris came out, I’m pretty sure I was not working at the time exactly but I remember those stories also inspiring me and planting the seeds that said ‘You know what, this is something that needs to be done in this business.' This is something more people should consider doing.
Someone asked me if I think other actors should step forward, and if it’s their duty and responsibility. I don’t. I feel like if it’s something they want to do… I didn’t feel like I should do this. I feel like I wanted to do this. I’m on a very different path than a lot of people, and I came to this place after a fourteen year journey.
AE: Let’s talk about The Playboy Club. In general, the show was getting a lot of knocks before people even saw the pilot. I'd seen it and didn’t know what was getting people so stirred up.
SM: It was so funny. That was the press we got before the show, and now the criticism is that it’s too tame! Well, it is what it is. I think just the word ‘Playboy’ carries so much with it, and people were just assuming tits and ass and it would be sex and porn, but I think what I’m finding is that people are surprised there is singing in it.
Laura Benanti (a Tony winner who plays Bunny Mother Carol Lynne) is an extraordinary performer, singer and dancer. In every single episode she has these wonderful songs of the era, and she does them just beautifully. People didn’t know that! That’s what was going on in the club, and that’s why people went. It was just this club where people could escape.
AE: How much did you know about the Mattachine Society before the show came along? Were you familiar with it?
SM: Absolutely not! I didn’t know it existed and didn’t know anything about gay rights prior to Stonewall. Stonewall was, I thought, the beginning of the gay rights movement. I didn’t know there was anything before that. The research I did on the Mattachines, I couldn’t get enough of it! It went back as far as 1949 here in Los Angeles so there was a lot to learn. Then Chad [Hodge, creator of The Playboy Club] and I went to see The Temperamentals, the play in NY that came to LA. We saw it here, also just for the historical references that are in the show…that show is ripped from the pages of history….so I didn’t know anything. I think as an actor I was drooling at the prospect of taking on this role and then, obviously, as a gay man I was drawn to it as well. I connected to it immensely.
AE: A few episodes have aired, but what's next? Is Sean going to get immersed in the Playboy Club, too?
SM: I do. I think they planted the seeds in the scene where I approach Nick Dalton (Eddie Cibrian) about running his campaign. We see more of that, and ultimately I do become his campaign manager. So I am in the club a lot more.
Again, still doing the storyline with my wife, and we see the Mattachine Society grow in size, and we’re introduced to my partner, and we see another Mattachine meeting.
I've just been so grateful for the response that we’ve been getting for our storyline. It’s been wonderful. I think the writers are really enjoying that, so I think they’ve been writing a lot of great stuff that will be coming down the pike.
AE: It’s a little early in the show, but does your secret come out eventually? Or is it too soon?
SM: I think it’s a little too soon, but I’ve heard Chad talk about that and it will happen a few episodes down the line. I can’t disclose anything, but he does talk about it.
I wondered about that, like how long can we keep this going? I think now that I am involved with Nick and running his campaign, I think to be closeted and to possibly be discovered... I think the stakes are much higher for me.
The Playboy Club airs Mondays at 10/9c on NBC.
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