[Source]
Zach Wahls is No "Straight Ally"
Posted by Christie Keith on April 26, 2012
When
the right to marriage equality in Iowa was threatened by a proposed
constitutional amendment last year, a 19-year-old University of Iowa
engineering student named Zach Wahls stood up in front of the legislature and told them not to allow discrimination to be written into the state's constitution.
In three minutes of testimony
that went on to earn millions of views across the Internet and turned
Zach into a media celebrity, he told them Iowa needed to protect its
families, not denigrate them. He said he'd been raised by two moms, and
he'd turned out pretty well – Eagle scout, excellent grades, making
something of his life. "If I was your son, Mr. Chairman, I believe I'd make you very proud," he told the state's top lawmaker that day.
So how did Zach grow up to be an adult who makes not only his native
state of Iowa but the whole LGBT community proud? That's the story he
tells in his just-released book, My Two Moms: Lessons of Love, Strength and What Makes a Family.
AfterElton spoke with Zach on the eve of the book's release, and he
said he wrote it for the same reason he testified in front of the
legislature: to help people understand that families with same-sex
parents are the same as other families, and shouldn't be treated
differently by our nation's laws. The most powerful tool he has to make
that happen, he said, is to help them get to know his family.
"People’s minds or attitudes change when they meet people like me or
my moms," he said. "They learn they don't have anything to be afraid of
from us. Because it's fear, at the most fundamental level, that enables
and perpetuates negative attitudes toward LGBT people. And fear changes
when they meet real people like my moms, and can connect the idea with a
real face and a real story. They learn we're more alike than
different."
Since the video of his testimony want viral, Zach has been spreading
that message in appearances on talk and news shows, including
high-profile ones like The Ellen DeGeneres Show and The Late Show With David Letterman.
"The presence of LGBT people in mainstream culture is
transformative," he said. "Most people in my generation can't remember a
time when Ellen wasn't out, or Neil Patrick Harris
wasn't awesome.... Because they're familiar to us, we gain the
understanding that LGBT people are just that – people – and with that
understanding comes freedom from the fear that has for so long been
responsible for inequality."
While it's true, he said, that most young people aren't as fearful of
gay people, and don't have the same degree of prejudice that older
people often do, equality isn't a "slam-dunk" simply because of that
fact.
"Seventy percent of college students support full legal equality," he
said, "but words like 'fag,' 'queer,' and all the rest are still
pervasive in junior high and elementary schools."
He gave a recent example of how devastating such bullying and anti-gay slurs can still be. "Kenneth Weishuhn,
a 14-year-old boy in Iowa, very popular, came out to his family and
friends, and three weeks later, took his life because of the reaction he
got from his peers. And right around the time of my testimony, we were
in the middle of a string of youth suicides in our community. So I'm
very sensitive to the epidemic that is still going in our school
system."
But even that, he says, is a legacy of an earlier era. "A very real
part of the reason this harassment exists is that it's enabled by
teachers who are not part of the younger generation. But more
importantly, as long as discrimination is codified by our governments,
by laws like DOMA, and in the 32 states that have constitutional
amendments, we are still in a place where people conflate illegality and
immorality. Addressing that disconnect is incredibly important."
Hence My Two Moms
and his hope that it will inspire greater awareness and activism on the
part of the LGBT community and its allies. "The future is going to get
better, no doubt in my mind, but it won't get better on its own," he
said. "To use an engineering metaphor, the road may be paved, but the
lines haven't been painted yet, and they won't paint themselves."
Zach doesn't think of himself as a straight ally. "I'm part of the
LGBT community, too," he said. "I was born into it. I think you'll find
the same feeling with other children of gay parents."
That said, he continued, "Unlike the civil rights movement, where the
affected minorities were in the forefront, straight allies are
unusually important in the struggle for LGBT rights. That's because
there is this pervasive myth about gender identification and sexual
orientation, that they are choices.
"Straight allies completely devastate the notion that in order to
support LGBT rights you have to 'choose' to be LGBT yourself. Of course
we know that's not how it works, but if someone isn't sure one way or
the other, and is conflicted about the issue of homosexuality or gender
identification, seeing allies stand up is incredibly important."
When he stood up in front of the Iowa State Legislature, Zach was
carrying on in what he says is a noble tradition. "Iowa has long history
of social progressivism," he said. "It was one of first states to say
that any slave who set foot there was free. It was the first state in
the country to allow women into law school."
Iowa's roots as a progressive state grow out of its "live and let
live" mentality, as well as its agrarian heritage. "If you have a bad
snow storm come through, it doesn't matter if that neighbor down the way
is black or white, or Protestant or Catholic, or straight or gay," he
said. "You have to have each other's backs. And you figure out what is
and isn't important."
Above all, he said, Iowa's symbolic value as America's heartland is
huge. "If you can show that the values that define LGBT families are no
different than the values that define straight families in Iowa, you can
do it anywhere," he said.
Unlike many political memoirs, My Two Moms is as engaging
and strongly written as Zach's powerful public appearances would
suggest. It's also funny, opening with a caution that "if you really do
believe homosexuality is a greater threat to our country than terrorism,
you should probably put the book down."
What he's really aiming at, he said, is the "moveable middle," people
who are not sure what they think about gay rights, and who could
benefit from learning more about LGBT families.
In
the book, he tells the story of a cab driver from Latin America who was
uncomfortable with homosexuality personally, but still supported
equality for LGBT people. "To him, America is the land of freedom, this
beautiful place where you have liberty and protections," Zach said. "And
even though he's not going to be getting gay-married himself, he
respected those values, which America is known for all over the world."
If that sounds like something a Boy Scout would say, there's a reason for that. In My Two Moms,
Zach talks a great deal about his experiences in the Boy Scouts, and
the values he learned there. But, he said, there's a dark side to the
organization, underscored by the recent expulsion of lesbian pack leader Jennifer Tyrrell.
"The Boy Scouts of America celebrates religious diversity, and we're
taught not to value one religious belief over another," he said. "But as
we saw in Ms. Tyrell's case, that policy of diversity is pushed aside,
and fear rises to the top."
The problems with the organization are, he said, at the national, not
local, level. "Every person involved with (Tyrrell's) pack was 100
percent supportive," he said. "The fear was advanced on the council
level, by people who didn't know her or her pack. Their decision was
enabled by fear and homophobia."
Still, Zach continues to support scouting. "This problem is codified
into BSA laws, just as it's been codified into our government. I'm not
going to emigrate from the U.S. because I disagree with its policies,
even if those policies are very important to me and my family. It's the
same with the Scouts, because the vast majority of my scouting
experience was overwhelmingly positive, and instrumental in shaping my
character."
How does Zach feel about being a poster boy for LGBT families? "On
the downside, I've been accused of being assimilationist and
heteronormative from people in our own community, and it's frustrating
at times. And this is certainly not something I signed up to do, or was
prepared for. But once the video got rolling – well, here we are."
It's not in his nature to avoid a challenge, but he still says he
wishes he'd never had to take on this battle in the first place. "None
of this would have happened if they hadn't put forth a constitutional
amendment in the Iowa legislature," he said. "As long as the other side
insists on politicizing my moms and our family, I'm definitely going to
be a part of the conversation and offer up my own testimony."
My Two Moms: Lessons of Love, Strength and What Makes a Family is available in bookstores now.
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